Selfish Motivation vs. Food Independence

There are a lot of food things that I do with and to Gianna that are motivated purely out of selfish intentions. For example, last summer I made her wait in line for 20 minutes so I could experience the “Bea Arthur” at the Big Gay Ice Cream Truck—a cone of vanilla soft serve, dulce de leche sauce and crushed vanilla wafers—while she longingly gazed across the street at the Mr. Softie with no line, crying for a Sponge Bob ice cream. Then there was the time I persuaded her to order the mac’n’cheese when we were having lunch because I knew, after not eating dinner the night before, my chicken Caesar salad was not going to cut it. And I certainly can’t forget the time I donned her in her apron (not totally against her will) to make homemade gourmet chocolate ice pops (they were laced with cinnamon and chile) when all she really wanted was a cherry-flavored ice pop that we had somewhere in the depths of the freezer.

My husband is guilty of this selfishness, too. The other day they were making chocolate chip cookies and I overheard him say to her, “Well you know, we shouldn’t put in too many chocolate chips because coconut is soooo much better.” (Brad, obviously, not a chocolate lover.) All done in the name of food and out of love, our parental food deception may seem manipulative, but it always introduced her palate to new tastes. After all, she got to try dulce de leche for the first time, had some spicy frozen chocolate and experienced a coconut cookie sans chocolate chips.  (I can’t really say anything about the mac’n’cheese lunch or how she benefited from it, other than that it was delicious.)

According to experts, if you want to expand your kids’ palates, you should provide options that empower them to choose their own foods. “This encourages healthy food behavior and eating habits,” says Maggie Moon, corporate nutritionist for FreshDirect, a grocery-delivery service servicing New York City and Westchester, parts of New Jersey and Connecticut.

Although sometimes choice is not the best option for an overtired, overstimulated and very hungry three-and-a-half-year-old, it turns out that as Gianna gets older, I realize my selfish intentions are slowly being overruled by her food independence. As her palate becomes introduced to more flavors and textures, she is becoming more vocal about her own food choices. For example, although she still is partial to mac’n’cheese, Gianna is now more particular about the shape of the pasta and which ‘brand’ she likes better. Although she likes pasta shaped like cartoon characters or bunnies, she declares, “It is not really mac’n’cheese, unless it has the bendy pasta that looks like an elbow.” Her salad choices have gone from plain to “a little dressing,” she notices when fruit is mushy or too cold to eat, and although she will eat for the most part what I put in front of her, she is not shy to criticize. The other day when we were having eggs for dinner, although they were still “tasty,” she wanted to know why they were browner than usual. (Okay, so I left them in the pan a bit longer, i.e. overcooked them a bit.) 

So, as all is fair in food and war, I started to cook things that weren’t necessarily my favorites but I knew Gianna liked. I’d purposely include string beans in a mixed vegetable dish as well as beets (an odd favorite of hers) and cucumbers in the salad with a little dressing—and I try not to overcook her eggs.

But when it comes to satisfying my sweet tooth, would I still drag her along searching for the Big Gay Ice Cream Truck waiting in line for 20 minutes for a “Bea Arthur” or some vanilla soft-serve drizzled with Nutella? You bet I will.—Nicole Potenza Denis

1 comment

Roxy Beets and Bea Arthur. You make a great team! Keep doing what you are doing foodie mom.